Author's note:   Please feel free to post this story to any free site, as long as the following conditions are met. It shall not be posted to any site charging a fee for reading it, either direct or indirect (avs), the story remains fully intact, and the original author shall be credited in entirety.

This story contains harsh language and scenes of a frank sexual nature and is not suitable for younger readers. Also if you are offended by Transgendered, Gay, and Lesbian themes, please be gone...this is not the story for you (unless your morbid curiosity gets the better of you (*giggle*), but consider yourself warned).

 

My Husband Kellie, a Wife's Tale

By Lisa Grey

 

My husband Cal and I had been married for three and a half years. We hadn't had the best relationship, but that was nobody's fault. It all started with kind of a strange wedding. Cal had moved out of state to start a new job a month before we were to be married so we only saw each other on weekends. We were in love and the distance was difficult for both of us but we managed.

I guess I should say I managed. I was in love so was blind to the signs that something may not have been right. You see, during the week Cal never seemed to call me. Not that I am saying he was screwing around. He was always there at the apartment when I called, but it seemed I was always the one who called.

Cal had always been shy and reserved. That was one of the things I liked about him. He was always calm and never disrespected me no matter how mad I was. I was a party girl. I had always been in it for the fun and I had a difficult time denying myself anything. Cal had accused me at one point of being an alcoholic, which had upset me greatly. He also didn't like that I smoked pot and was constantly at the doctors getting pain pills and such. I ignored his distance and he ignored my substance abuse. We should have realized it wasn't going to last.

Four months after our wedding I moved to the state Cal was in and we began our lives together. We hadn't even had a proper honeymoon. Cal had moved away from home before, though never for very long, but it was the first time I was away from my family. I was very homesick. All I did was go out and spend money, and didn't really try to get a job. Cal made good money but a year and a half in school had left us deeply in debt. We were living beyond our means and Cal finally had to consider bankruptcy. This was a serious blow to his pride since he always paid his bills on time. He, of course, held me responsible. Which I was.

As time wore on, the stress of our situation piled up on us. Cal began to get more distant and I began to visit the doctor more often. I spent more and more time stoned and Cal just withdrew inside himself. He rarely ever talked to me except to gripe about something I should have done and blew off. He was also a crossdresser. It wasn't a serious thing. I knew about it the second time we had slept together, long before we were engaged. Back then it was just a once in a while thing we would do during sex. It really got him fired up and that made the experience more intense for me. Unfortunately, as the stress in Cal's life mounted, the dressing increasingly became his escape.

I was never really comfortable with the dressing, but I loved him and thought I could deal with it. Unfortunately, this was ammo for me when we had a fight, which had become more and more frequent as my homesickness drove me deeper into the substance abuse and I began to do stuff that undermined our financial situation. He would just sit there and calmly catalogue my failings, and I couldn't fault him. He only had one character flaw that was of any significance so I used it to justify my unhappiness. That was the crossdressing.

It was finally getting to be too much for him. He began to stay home from work a lot, and was on the cusp of losing his job due to his absenteeism. I didn't help him much since I felt a tiny bit of responsibility for his condition, so I lashed out at that too. He finally started going to a shrink. I thought, "Good, he is finally going to get the crossdressing thing fixed." Not surprisingly, he never mentioned it to the shrink. He truly didn't see it as the problem I did.

Soon he had his absenteeism under control and was becoming more relaxed. I guess I had hurt him pretty bad when I had lashed out at him when he was vulnerable. He was always honest with me, even when it would hurt my feelings, but now he was being very honest. He had confessed to me one night after watching a related TV show that he had "settled" for me. I was crushed. It had finally come home to me that the storybook romance and marriage that I had always dreamed of was just that…a dream.

That Christmas, it would have been our second together, we decided to separate. He went to live with a friend from work, and I was going to go home. I guess we were both too stubborn to admit we had failed though, because a week after new years we had gotten back together. Time away from each other seemed like just what we needed.

Our life improved greatly. By this time I had gotten a job and had it for sometime. He had gotten a huge raise at work and we had gone out and bought a new car. We made a financial arrangement that we would each pay a share of the bills and whatever money we saved out of our paychecks was our to spend as we saw fit. He paid a lot more than me because he made a lot more money.

Cal had made some friends at work that had ATVs. He expressed an interest in it, and I encouraged him. He was still hanging out in the house too much and I wanted him to get out and be with friends. Soon he had bought an ATV and began to go riding with his friends. As I had hoped the crossdressing seemed to vanish.

My problems too, seemed to vanish. At least as far as he was concerned. He had adopted a "don't ask don't tell" stance on it. He told me if I was gonna do it, just don't do it in front of him. He would tolerate it as long as it didn't effect him.

Seven months after we had gotten back together, I got a phone call in the middle of the night. It was Cal, he worked nights you see. He told me over the phone the news we had been waiting two and a half years for. It took me a second for what he was saying to penetrate my drug-induced grogginess. He had finally got his letter of transfer…we were going home.

We were both impossibly happy. We knew that our trials were over. We were going back to our home and family and he was going to be bringing home a bunch more money. Our lives were now going to be the dream I had always imagined…weren't they?

I was wrong, dead wrong. We got back home and settled in. I started hanging out with my sister and Cal, who didn't care for my sister just started hanging out around the house again. He didn't have his ATV friends here and he had lost touch with many of his local friends in the two and a half years we had been gone.

One thing about my family, they are all drug dependant and well stocked with narcotics, which they gave to me, no problem. Soon I was coming home so stoned all I would do is pass out on the couch. I didn't do anything around the house and was rarely there except to sleep anyway.

It all came to a head on what would have been our third Christmas since we were married. I had lost my new job because I was so stoned I couldn't even answer a phone. I had promptly gotten a new job, but the drug abuse had me. I began to steal from Cal and his mom, and even went so far as to steal my employer's credit card, which I took and went on a shopping spree. Cal had finally had enough. He told me to leave.

Numbly, I complied. I packed some things and went to my parents. The next day my mom, my sister and I went Christmas shopping, and I was feeling depressed so I began taking pills. When we got home I was so stoned I couldn't get out of the car. My family Baker Acted me. That is, they had me committed to a drug rehab program. While I was in the hospital, my privacy was violated. My family had went through my stuff and found all the things I had been hiding, the stolen credit card, the results from the shopping spree, and they knew something wasn't right. They did some checking and realized how deeply I was in trouble.

I narrowly avoided jail time. My family made arrangements to return what they could and pay back the rest, but my life was going to be like a prison sentence. My parents were going to be all over me, treating me like a child for the next nine months.

I managed to get out of the hospital just in time for Christmas, but I didn't get to talk to Cal until New Years Eve. He called me to tell me it was over between us. He told me too much damage had been done to our marriage for it to work anymore. I had, he told me, violated his trust too many times and he wasn't going to give me another chance. I was still very angry. With my family for betraying me (at least that’s how I saw it) and with Cal for kicking me out. So I lashed out once again, using the only fault I knew could hurt him. I told him, "you need to decide whether you are a man or a woman."

Little did I know how much effect these words would have. We didn't have any contact with each other for the next two months, but when his birthday came up, I had let go of my anger and wanted to take him out to dinner. So I called. He seemed to have let his anger cool as well.

At dinner that night we talked. I don't know why, maybe we were just both lonely, but we decided to start dating again. On the way home we stopped on the beach and had frenzied sex in the back of his truck like a couple of teens. Then he took me home to mom and dad. God, I felt like I was in high school again.

It wasn't long after that that he told me of his plans to go out cross-dressed. Needless to say, it didn't make me happy, but I really wanted us to work this time so I told him it would be all right by me. He asked me if I would like to go, but this was far too much to ask of me, so I said no. We talked for some time and in the end I had begun to think it wouldn't be such a bad thing. He had assured me the he was only interested in women and that if I went with him I would not have to worry about what happened because I will have been there. He told me that he now had a name for his feminine alter ego, Kellie.

Time went by and Cal began to explore Kellie far more. Trying to be supportive, I went shopping with him, for her. He spent an incredible amount of money. Since he didn't have anything, he needed all the basic stuff, underwear, tops, skirts, shoes, makeup, etc. We got home that night and I had him model the stuff for me. Then I taught him to put on makeup, and before my eyes there appeared a beautiful girl named Kellie. I still knew it was him under it all, and I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge how good he looked, because then I would have had to admit she looked far better than me. It was a turning point for Cal that night. As he looked at himself, he realized the he didn't look like a man in a dress. He looked attractive and passable, and unlike his male presence, he liked what he saw.

The next time I saw him he told me he had made an appointment with a therapist. Kellie was becoming a much bigger part of his life and though I still wanted to be supportive I wasn't sure I could deal with her. He told me that he was sure that he was not a crossdresser, but a Transsexual.

Cal had made reservations at a beach resort for the end of the summer. He invited me to come with him and I agreed. I asked him if I could have my husband there for at least one night, and he told me that he wasn't even considering Kellie being there. That did change, because I encouraged it. Don't ask me why I did it. I guess I just wanted him to be happy.

He was happy. More happy and energetic than I had ever seen him. The weekend at the beach, Kellie was there almost all the time. Even when Cal was there when we went to dinner or shopping, his nails were painted and his body hair was shaved, and it didn't seem to bother him what strangers thought of this man with painted nails and shaved legs. The first night we both got all dressed up to the nines and went walking on the beach. We must have made a sight, two pretty girls in short skirts and bare feet walking down the beach holding hands.

It was a magical weekend for him. He had had his first public experience as Kellie and even people at close range didn't notice. Well, that wouldn't be entirely accurate. We passed several people in the lobby as we went out. The men certainly noticed us. The women did too. I heard them complimenting us to each other on our attire. I suppose we did look cute. She was all darkness, with her long brunette tresses, and black dress and heels. I was all light, with my long blonde hair and my white lace dress and heels. The fact was though that even at close range in harsh lighting, nobody read Kellie. For me it was disturbing. It had illustrated to me what I had refused to admit to Cal or myself. Kellie did look like a girl, not just a man in a dress.

I guess in spite of my big promises, I was having a lot of problems dealing with this. Cal had asked me all that weekend how I felt about it, and I kept telling him I was ok, that love was unconditional. He kept asking how I would feel if Kellie was around all the time. I didn't have answer for that. I told him we would have to see when it happened. I began to get stressed again. Cal saw it and told me that maybe we shouldn't see each other. He told me he didn't want to be the cause of another relapse into drugs. I assured him that wouldn't happen.

Two months after the beach trip, I had finally saved enough money to move out of my parent's house. I rented a little trailer at a trailer park and the weekend I moved in Cal called and asked if I wanted to go out with Kellie to a TG club. This was to be Kellie's first bar experience, and I agreed to go.

When I got to the house, Kellie told me that a friend from the support group she was going to was going to meet us there. I was very excited about having my own place and wanted to stop by there first, but she was being incredibly frustrating, insisting we didn't have time before her friend got to the club. I was very angry, but I gave in. We could always go afterward. I was also stoned. I couldn't deal with going out with Kellie to a club without some sort of help to calm my nerves. I figured nobody would be the wiser. I guess I was wrong.

I guess I was pretty rude to Kellie that night. I drove her car, and I ran the hell out of it drifting into other people's lanes and driving very fast. I knew this scared her and I really didn't care. She was a trooper though. She wasn't going to let my behavior spoil her first night out.

The club turned out to be a gay bar that was TG friendly and her friend was late. I had had a few drinks by the time he got there, and didn't miss an opportunity to point out to Kellie that we would have had plenty of time to go look at my new place before we arrived here. It was kind of boring, I thought. We just sat and talked, and when her friend finally arrived we did more of the same. I sat there and looked at us, two pretty girls and a guy. I guess I must have thought it wasn't quite right in my alcohol enhanced stoned state, so when I went to go get a drink, I collected a stray guy (don't ask me how I managed this in a gay bar) but I invited him back to our table. I am still not sure if I did it out of spite, or if it just came out, but while I was making introductions, I introduced Kellie as "my husband Cal". Kellie took this in stride. She was very good at never letting them see you sweat, but her eyes did narrow and I did get a withering glare. I suppose it was a pretty stupid thing to do. Cal's employer did know anything about Kellie, and he was not ready for anyone that didn't need to know to find out. The company Cal worked for was huge and you could never tell whom you would run in to that also worked there. I guess maybe deep down I wanted to torpedo Kellie, to make her a laughing stock. Then maybe I could have Cal back.

I made some horrible mistakes that night. I didn't realize how bad until later, but when we were leaving the club to go see my new place, Kellie quietly chastised me and asked me to never again introduced her as my husband, and for the love of God never as Cal. I realized I had left the keys to my place at my parents, so we had to go by there first. God, Kellie was terrified that they would see her. My parents were pretty much snobs and she was convinced it would be a humiliating experience if they saw her, so I left her out there in the car while I went in to get the keys. I guess the resentment made me do it but I wanted to torture her a little. When I got inside I turned one the flood light in the driveway, lighting up the interior of the car and putting her on display for whoever looked out the window, and whoever happened to be passing on the street. Then I took my time finding the key. I knew this was horrible of me because I knew she had to pee and couldn't until we got to my place, and I added to that with the risk of exposure.

When we got to my new place, I tortured her some more by pretending to fumble with the lock while she danced from high heel to high heel with discomfort. I finally relented and let her in. When she came out of the bathroom, I took her on a tour of my new home, all thirty feet of it. I knew it wasn't much. In truth it was a rat hole. I could see it in her grey eyes, but I asked her what she thought anyway. I also told her to be honest, knowing she would be just that because her sense of honor demanded it. Surprisingly, she was very diplomatic when she told me it was horrible in polite terms.

After the grand tour, we returned to her house and had sex. It was sex that you would think of as two girls having. A lot of oral and stroking and kissing, at least on her part. It was tender and loving, and Kellie took me to heights of pleasure I hadn't been to in a long time if ever. She tended to me and when it was my turn, again, I was mean. Oh, I took care of her, but I didn't do it with the passion and attentiveness she had just shown me. After I stroked her and kissed her getting her discordant equipment ready, I barely touched her as I mounted her and began bouncing up and down on it. She finally rolled us over and got on top. Then with slow gentle movements she pumped in and out of me. Once again she brought me to orgasm, and a little while later achieved hers.

When I left that night, as we kissed goodbye, I saw the tears in her eyes. Some how I knew, as I drove off, that I would never see Kellie, or my husband again. I would later find out the she knew I was high, and was very aware of the mean things I had done to her that night, because I want the man not the woman. She had decided that she couldn't allow her self to be the cause of my return to drug abuse and knew that she was too much for me to deal with. She made the decision to remove herself from my life.

It didn't work though. I got lonely in my little rat hole and I started partying again. I am back to smoking pot and getting high however I can. Kellie found a nice woman that accepted and loved her. I hear they are very happy living together as two women. I have had a string of losers for boy friends. All of them seemed to have big hairy beer guts and they treat me like dirt. But at least they're men, right? That's what I keep telling myself. I hope some day I believe it.

The End

 

 

 

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© 2001 by Lisa Grey. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.